Tuesday, November 15, 2011

- Title: Bragging Rights :

Well well well, I really don't know how should I reall blog this boring post and make it sound interesting... Since this will be like a summary of what I have done for the past three years...

Actually my title was somehow given by Rin. Cause I forgot what happen the other day, I was talking to her, then she say I got the right to brag or something or somewhere around that line.

My last entry was suppose to be the entry to post that, but then I didn't write it since I need to get some message across to someone, so I got to delay that and write this one a separate entry.

Those of you that wonder if I am alright recently, yea, I am getting a lot of better already. In term of sick and emotion of course. Those that are closer to me will sort of know what happen since I ask you people for advice, but those who that I didn't tell, I'M ALRIGHT DAMNIT!!!!! But in term of sick, oh no, I am not completely well to be honest. My throat still feel like it is filled with phlegm, but I am recovering well enough. *Drink water*

LET'S GET DOWN TO BRAGGING, SHALL WE?

Melvin weight
Let's get down to some state... I used to be 100kg before I started doing something, this happen since like after Secondary 5. So it's like about three years already...

There are two reasons why I started to slim down when I hit the mark of 100kg.

1 - Who the fuck want to be in the 100kg range?
2 - It's a promise to Jacinta.

I mean it's real... when I am in like 99kg, I am like "Lololololol, I'm not 100kg bitach". But during that time, I am starting to fear that I actually be hitting 100kg soon. But I didn't stop eating a lot of junk food...

So during the time where I am near to 100kg, it wasn't really pleasent. I mean, we guys are sort of quite tiko since we are young. So in bus or MRT, when there are pretty girls, no way in hell they will sit beside me cause I smells and I take up a lot spaces.

I was given the position of "Cai Png King" as well, cause for like many many years, I only eat the school Cai Fan, till the point I will countdown for recess time and camp near the door. Once the door bell rang, I quickly walk to Cai Png store. Do note I use the phrase "Quickly Walk" and not "Run". Because running seriously felt like a biatch to me that time.

Of course I sort of remember my food well. I mean, I have been ordering for like five damn years. I am lazy to type in Chinese, so I will type in english >_>... *Hooray for being a lazy ass eventhough I slimmed down*

"Auntie, give me rice with more rice. I want more meat, one fish and one egg. Give me many many curry sauce.

The fish is usually swapped around cause not everyday there are fish. Then I will take like two spoonful of chillie. Oh man, their chillie is downright awesome. Speaking of those food I order, walao, I suddenly felt dam pathetic.

So everyone in class gave me names as well. It was then I was alright with names, since I got some epic name like Hairy Monster, Fat Ass, Pig, Cai Png King and a lot a lot. Hence, right now I don't really mind people call me names, as long they happy can liao. But if you are not really close to me or anything, try not to do that LOL. I will seriously fuck you.

I was going to tell you about my last NaFa test, but you can easily just read my last entry... So the horror came

So there was one day I was standing on the weighing machine for the lulz... For the first time, I see a five digits on the weighing machine...

I don't mean 10000kg, I MEANT AROUND 100.00KG. Dam, I believe I am like quite sad inside and felt devasated. Since when does 1kg make a different? Like 99kg and 100kg? Bloody hell. This felt like heaven and hell.

But thanks to my lovely mum, who take me to swimming course the last time, eventhough I am like DIE DIE DON'T WANT CAUSE IT IS A DAM SPORT. But still she forced me, and I'm dam glad she did.

But then, the problem right now is, eventhough I know how to swim, I hasn't swim for like in years. So when I decided to go to the swimming pool, I am actually quite scared of how people will think of me. Like, it will be a combination of hairy + fat or something close to that. When I enter the pool, it was so hard to swim.

That time, I can barely swim like 10 rounds... and I can't swim like one whole round without stopping. But it isn't long enough before I start to swim 10 rounds non stop and got the stamina to carry on.

Again, not long later. My weigh drop from 100kg back to 99kg, so the thought of stopping come. Since I am not in 100kg again. LOL, seriously, fuck that thinking.

Want to know if I stopped? Stay tune...

.......................

LOL, so I countinue to swim, and soon I realise my weight drop quite fast, I think within like a few weeks, I manage to lost like 3 to 5kg already. You will never know how happy I feel... But then I have read forums around, that if fat people lose weight suddenly, there will be stretch mark on anywhere that is possible. So I start to notice I got stretch mark on my biceps(or arms that time...). There is where I started to borrow my brother dumb bell and start to tone up my muscle.

I still remember, I can only carry for like 20 times while cheating with a 6kg dumb bell. I still felt a sense of achievement though LOL. So for months, I have been doing this shit. but of course, my diet changed a lot as well... For lunch I will eat like anything I want. But for dinner, I only eat basic stuff like fried fish soup with milk. That's all... no noodle no rice no nothing. Plus I ate fruits after my meal. I don't drink sweet stuff anymore and don't eat snacks afterthat. So it's like a complete change of lifestyle.

Before NYP start, I am like 91kg. Of course, I am the fattest in class and definitely not happy about that. So While studying, I did countinue to swim. Cause like if there is a day where school ends quickly, I will go back home, pack bag and went to hougang swimming pool.

So I kind of stop exercising when I reach below 90... so I'd say 89kg. So during my first birthday celebration ever... I was sort of... being... forced to eat down a lot of Sushi. As in even when I am full, I still got to eat... even to the point I puke right after that whole celebration.

That's not the main point why I wrote that paragraph. The next day, I stand on the weighing machine... and my weight is like... 92kg. I seriously totally broke down that time. Like I got the feeling of everything went back to zero, it felt like the end of the world. So I stop everything, cause I was way too damn sad. This is no joke.

So I started to eat FULL dinner, started to drinks sweet stuff and back to snacking.. but for years, my weight has been around 91kg to 92kg range. But soon it increases again to like 93kg, where it fucking wake me up again.

It was around year 2, where I started to go back swimming. But it wasn't a good idea, cause year 2 time table was quite packed. So I told myself... I can try running to slim down and I can prepare for my NaFa test. It was totally dam tiring. My usual route is run like two or three rounds near my house, cause it's like 2.4km. The first time I ran, I cannot even complete like 200m at first and my body started to feel the ache. So yea, I felt like giving up. But I didn't, cause I don't like to give up LOL.

This time, I change my diet even more. I change from fried fish soup with milk to fish soup, so it is like... DAM BORING. I also add a new dish to my dinner, chicken breast meat without skin, which is also a boring meal. But meh, since when is healthy meal a enjoyable one?

But I was quite determine to lose weight this time, cause everytime I feel that I can run further or I lose more weight... I will be like...

MOAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was so determine until the point I sprained my leg, which I sort of stopped doing everything. Reason/excuse to stop slimming down... But once I recovered, I lost all the determination and motivation to do everything. SO SOON, my attachment started and soon FYP.

So even how much I want to exercise, it seems quite impossible. I know this is a excuse. But imagine... everyday I woke up at 5.30am and return home at around 7pm. So I got like a few hours before I sleep... till the point I actually tried wake up at 5am in the morning run. But it wasn't a good idea caused I puke... so I stopped at around 85kg.

You know, the funny thing is when I lose weight from 90kg to 85kg, for some reason. My ego started to increase. I starts to think that I am handsome, I am attractive and I always have the feeling that women are looking at me. You know, I actually start to stand infront of mirror and look at myself before I bath. So people started thinking I am dam thickskin cause I keep saying myself handsome. But it actually become a funny side of me though LOL.

From 90kg to 85kg was also the time I tried a new way to keep up with my motivation... I used money. In what way? I bought a new Running shoe just to run. I bought a new earphone just to run with it. I bought a new watch just to swim with it. Those three are the more expensive stuff I buy to sort of help myself. It only works awhile though.

Also, because of slimming down, I have went back to watch wrestling. I actually wonder why my brother buy those guy's magazine... as in those with hot guys inside. But after I watch wrestling, I totally understand his feeling.

This will sounds gay but... when their music hit, and when they walk to the wrestling ring. I will somehow... always look at their body. I mean, they are dammmmmmmmnnn awesome. Too bad, not many girls I know that actually like guys with muscle o_o.

But then my friends and family work on both side... some are just like ass kept saying "Still fat what..."... "You exercise might as well don't exercise"... "No use de la". Seriously mofo, you don't know how much those hurt my heart LOL. Really, those are dam hurtful.

But of course there are awesome people as well... I will give my thanks first.

- Jessica for giving the best, awesome motivation speech ever. "You have the face... you just don't have the body".

- Lester for being a biatch LOL. "If you manage to lose weight, I will give you all my porn"

- Audrey to keep telling me to exercise

- Miss R for showing me all the hot guys >____________________> -You can show my picture soon, LOL-

- Rin and Yu Jing to remind me to exercise during my holiday and give similar speech as Jessica

- Everyone that tell me that I've slimmed down ;D

- Brother... just for saying this "Your body already has a bit of shape... if you really slimmed down. You will looks very good"

- Mum, she always have been there for me

- Weighing machine

It was funny when during the period that is near to holiday, poeple suddenly started asking me about slimming down. But the most funny one is this group of four people...

Jia Sian, Yu Jing, Rin and Jia Hwei. I sort of know them for less than a few months, but it somehow felt like I know them for years.

We always will be friend. Always.

So Jia Hwei is like... "I will exercise with you one next sem start!". But this don't seem possible now LOL.

Jia Sian is like keep ask me to go exercise LOL.

Yu Jing and Rin is probably the two that did the most impact. Why I said is because, they have been telling me to exercise... and there was this time I was sending them off to the Airport... they suddenly go...

"I WANT TO SEE YOU SLIM DOWN WHEN WE COME BACK HOR!!!!!!!!!!!!" I don't know why, but both of them say that. I actually felt the impact...

So my journey from 85kg to 79kg has begun. But first, I got to find back what I lost... So I'm going to find back all the weight I lost and gain them back. LOL NO. Cause I am like six to nine months blank. So my stamina all has gone to near zero.

So it's basically the same thing again and again and again. Run, swim and eat less. So I'm not going to rewrite everything. But this time my brother introduced me to a new stuff. Kickboxing Aerobic. It's like those normal aerobic, but done in kickboxing manner. Actually it is quite useless when you really want to learn kickboxing. But this is basically to burn calories, tone up your shoulder and have fun.

But really, finally... I have once see my weight that starts with a 7... OH MAN, YOU SERIOUSLY DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH MY EGO INCREASE AS COMPARED AS LAST TIME. But this time, it was all good... I really felt an accomplishment. It's like everywhere I go, there are people asking me if I slimmed down or say "You have slimmed down!!!". If you really want to compliment... don't say "You are handsome!", cause I know I am handsome. Instead, please do say "You have slimmed down" ;D.

When I reach 79kg, I really have the temptation to like give myself a reward. I have been aiming for a coin pouch don't know since like when. So I believe this is a perfect time to get a Gucci coin pouch. But the problem... I haven't have the time to take a look.

Actually I have time to take a look, just two consecutive weeks, two different people put aeroplane on me. But it's okay... of course I can just go by myself, but then I don't want. I am actually waiting for someone specific to go with me. Hopefully soon enough.

But ultimately, I am waiting for 75kg... why? I have told a lot of people once I reach my target weight, I will finally, in five dam long years, get a brand new watch.

So yea, so what if I have hit 79kg? I am still in overweight range. Comeon, normal range and watch, I'm coming for you soon enough ;D.

I am also waiting for the time that I can actually run half naked, or at least dare to walk to swimming complex while not being scare of people calling me fat. But ultimately, I can't wait for girls to flock to me LOL.

Actually, recently there is a stranger that asked for my number...

But of course one reason why I want to exercise is because of NaFa test, but in the end, I am still unable to pass... I still got a few weeks, but I strongly doubt I will be able to do anything though.

So anyone pleaseeeeeeee if I start to slack, I'll give you the permission to slap me to wake up.

Marimo?
One chat I had with Wei Jian the other day LOL. Short story, marimo green algae(?)... if you watch One Piece, you will know the signifance of it LOL.

Wei Jian: LOL, wait ah... I show you my new pet
Me: ... AS IF! HEE HAW!!!
Wei Jian: SEE MY PET!!!!!!!!!
Me: *Expecting him to send me a picture*
Me: *Wait*
Me: *See the change of his display picture*
Me: .......... wtf is that shit?
Me: Crab?
Wei Jian: LOL fuck guess guess
Wei Jian: One Piece, Zoro
Me: *Notice is marimo*
Me: HOW IS THAT A PET?
Wei Jian: In Japan... got people treat it as a pet
Me: So you going one round saying you are those kind of people la?
Wei Jian: ...........

Me: *Check YouTube to see clearly the marimo*
Me: WTF THEY WILL FLOAT ONE?
Me: Your one fake one la
Me: Can go return
Wei Jian: No... mine is stuck on the branch... not float... =.=
Me: *Show YouTube link*
Wei Jian: LOL WTF WHY CAN THEY FLOAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: Your one fake one la
Wei Jian: When they grow bigger, I transfer them to bigger tank
Wei Jian: I DON'T CARE!!!!! I WANT THEM TO FLOAT!!!!!!
Wei Jian: Hmmmmmmmm, but if I shake them, they can float LOLOL
Me: .............

Me: *Saying anything*
Wei Jian: Hahahah marimo
Me: =.=?
Me: Your marimo damn small sia
Wei JianL YOU GIVE ME TWO YEARS!!!!! MY MARIMO WILL BE BIGGER THAN YOUR BALLS!!!
Me: ..............

Wei Jian: I want name my marimo...
Me: Nb, your marimo all look the same
Me: Tomorrow if they change position you jiu forgot who is who liao
Wei Jian: They won't walk, so they won't change position!
Me: FUCK, NEXT TIME THEY CHANGE POSITION JIU HOW?
Wei Jian: I don't shake, they jiu won't change position liao
Me: So what name? Zero Zoro Zere?
Wei Jian: Nah...
Wei Jian: Marimo 1 2 3
Me: _|_
Us: LOLOLOLOLOL

Wei Jian: You want?!?! I buy for you
Wei Jian: Small bottle 6 dollars, bigger bottle 13 dollars!
Me: Why don't next time your marimo become big big
Me: I cut half and bring home?
Wei Jian: MARIMO SHOULD BE CIRCLE!!!! NOT SEMI CIRCLE!!!
Us: LOLOLOLOLOL

Wei Jian: -Show me a link of a plush doll where their dick is marimo*
Wei Jian: OMG COOL SIA, I WANT THE SOFT TOY
Wei Jian: Read the description...
Me: ... Erection?
Wei Jian: Next time my marimo big, I want to put on my dick
Me: .................
Wei Jian: Pervert sia
Us: LOLOLOLOLOLOL

The next day he keep marimo here marimo there also =.=

Random Chat

#1 - Well... It does work somehow..
Jessica: Wei, today hor.. I got mock interview sia... my teacher dam sia lan
Me: Why me?
Jessica: She fuck one la, sit like machiam boss then just say two words nia
Me: Which is?
Jessica: Impress me.
Me: ................
Jessica: DAM LA, I TOTALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Me: Hmmmmmmmm... you got to think out of the box...
Jessica: Uh?
Me: Like I will whip my penis out and drill a hole on the wall. That will impress her
Jessica: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
Me: Or I can use my penis to break the leg of the table.
Jessica: LOLOLOLOL OMG ENOUGH LOLOL
Me: I mean you surely have some skills for sure...
Jessica: LOLOL HMMMMMMMMMM
Jessica: I KNOW! I SHOW HER MY BOOB TO IMPRESS HER!!!
Me: I'd gladly be your examiner LOLOLOL
Jessica: FUCK LOLOL
Me: And I'll say... "Impressed me... and not show me a joke"
Jessica: You clearly never die before...
Us: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

#2 - A daughter that say his daddy is not handsome
Me: Just now your that friend... she not bad wor..
Ying Thong: Shi ma? But she has boyfriend liao wor...
Me: Got boyfriend can break... Got husband can divorce... Got baby can abort
Ying Thong: But he is akido de leader wor
Me: ...................
Ying Thong: You still want fight?
Me: Skills isn't a problem... HE GOT MORE HANDSOME THAN ME!?!?!
Ying Thong: A lot of time wor...
Me: .............. I can accept you say other people stronger
Me: BUT I CANNOT FORGIVE YOU THAT SAY YOUR DADDY IS NOT THE MOST HANDSOME!!!!!!
Me: Usually in life... children always say... "Daddy is the best and most handsome guy in the world!!!"
Me: You le... "He is Akido leader... He is more handsome..."
Me: YOU JUMP DOWN BUILDING BETTER LA
Us: LOLOLOLOLOL

#3 - News in case you didn't read the news.
Me: You know hor... recently got this girl in Ang Mo Kio jump building wor
Audrey: O_O_O I LIVE AROUND THERE
Me: But the funny thing is hor...
Me: She jump for second floor... bo tai ji...
Me: Then she go nine floor to jump... rest in peace...
Me: Ai seh... Call me Mr Poet.
Andrey: LOLOLOLOLOL
Audrey: Eh wait.... did you say she jump from level 2...?
Audrey: Then go to level 9...?
Me: Yep... hard to believe...
Audrey: This is why everyone have to play game...
Audrey: In game, we are force to go by level...
Audrey: Like level 1 then 2 then 3 then 4...
Audrey: Wa lao... she jitao jump from level 2 to level 9
Me: ....................
Me: Firstly... You tell me how to jump from level 1
Me: Secondly... Want die jiu die...
Me: Thirdly... WHO THE FUCK WILL TRY EACH LEVEL TO SEE IF SHE WILL DIE?
Me: THIS IS LIKE FUCKING TORTURE
Me: LIKE JUMP AT LEVEL 3, HAND BREAK... NEVER DIE
Me: THEN GO LEVEL 4, JUMP LEG BREAK, NEVER DIE
Me: THEN LEVEL 5, JUMP, MAYBE DIDN'T DIE
Me: WTF?
Us: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

#4 - Can ya please answer to the question?
Me: This song nice ma?
-6 minutes later-
Me: Listen liao?!?!
Joanna: Ya!!!
Me: Nice or not?
Joanna: The video quality is dam good lor
Joanna: Plus I like the recording studio
Me: ...........
Joanna: Simi?
Me: I AM ASKING THE MUSIC NICE OR NOT, NOT THE OTHERS
Me: ITS LIKE ME ASKING YOU CAI FAN NICE TO EAT OR NOT, YOU TELL ME THE PLATE AND FORK VERY NICE
Us: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

#5 - Hao lian to wrong person
Me: You becareful ah.. I box you then you know
Ying Thong: YOU WANT BOX ME AH?
Me: Cannot meh!?!?
Ying Thong: YOU WANT TO BOX AKIDO DE LEADER?
Me: You leader?
Me: .............???
Ying Thong: Liew Xi... me is Akido's leader right?
Liew Xi: Ya ah...
Me: ..........
Me: *Move chair far away from her*
Us: LOLOLOLOLOLOL

Jokes
Once upon a time there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked
beans. She loved them but unfortunately they had always had a very
embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her. Then one day she met a guy
and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry she thought
to herself, " He is such a sweet and gentleman, he would never go for this
carrying on." So she made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Some months later her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she
lived in the country she called her husband and told him that she would be
late because she had to walk home. On her way she passed a small diner and
the odor of the baked beans was more than she could stand.

Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would walk off any
ill effects by the time she reached home. So, she stopped at the diner and
before she knew it, she had consumed three large orders of baked beans.

All the way home she putt-putted. And upon arriving home she felt reasonably
sure she could control it. Her husband seemed excited to see her and
exclaimed delightedly, "Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He
then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table. She seated herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from his wife,the telephone rang.

He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned. He then went to
answer the phone. The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it go. It was
not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in
front of pulpwood mill.

She took her napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously. Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which reminded her of cooked cabbage. Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, she went on like this for another ten minutes. When the phone farewells signaled the end of her freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with her napkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon it, smiling contentedly to herself.

She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned, apologizing for taking so
long, he asked her if she peeked, and she assured him that she had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and she was surprised!! There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a "Happy Birthday"!!!

- Melvin - Cause I care -

9:13 AM